My Beloved John: A Letter of Passion and Devotion

Dear John,

What have I not done? I have stirred sacred nests at your pleasing. I have plotted a dozen battles on your behalf. I have killed when the need to screams. I have buried when I realize it is either you or no one else. I have resurrected the past for my own selfish ploys, but the future I am powerless to, like a feather surrenders to gravity's vices.

What have I not done for you to stay? I have torn out my ears to avoid the echoes of the war dance: reminding me I am at war with my own heart . I shut out my eyes because the light is too bright, drawing me to its gaze, tantalizing my nerves, falling into its powerful elements. I held my tongue, but emptiness tells me nothing. I have built fences round me, hiding from friends and family.

What have I not done for you to stay with me? Nature fools me. Years ago, I was told by my parents, I could be and could do what ever I wanted. If I wanted to lead today, I could, all I needed to do is to put on the armor of the most conceited charismatic leader.

If I wanted to be the most sort after scientist, I could be one, what I needed to be is the most favored disciple to the Gods of science. If I wanted to be the best philosopher, I could, all I needed to do is to question everything. But for you? Its like filling up an ocean with water, never enough. Grief, clawing at my flesh like that of a hungry lion.

Your Jasmine Flower

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

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