What Lies Do To Good People: An Open Letter To A Friend Who Wouldn't Stop Lying

Dear Karen,

Are you saying that I destroyed your marriage?

We used to be the best of friends. Dan brought us together, and just after meeting you, I believed you were perfect for him. We all hung out a few more times, deepening our friendship and enjoying fun moments while doing things together. Dan played a role in setting me up with my husband, Bob, and the four of us tied the knot in the same month. I had the honor of being your bridesmaid and doing your makeup. Likewise, you were one of my bridesmaids, ensuring everything was well put together.

I would share with you my frustrations about my husband's quirky behaviors, and we would find humor in them. You would speak positively about your husband, and I would respond with a smile. He was just as kind to you as I expected him to be.

He and I had been the best of friends since he was a freshman at my alma mater, and we had laughably shared a kiss as kids. You have known this all along. You and my husband used to laugh about it all the time, much to my husband’s chagrin. We were children and naïve. It didn’t matter to either one of us. I loved him, and he loved me, and I loved you. Or at least I thought it was so.

It was perplexing how your husband never pursued his master's degree despite successfully passing the CPA exam. What added to the mystery was the noticeable change in his demeanor—his once lively and cheerful nature seemed to fade away, and his eyes appeared weary and puffy.

Furthermore, he hadn't secured his dream job. Whenever he was invited to join us or his brothers for outings, he would claim that he wasn't "permitted" to go—all because you were at home. Even more puzzling, he started canceling important plans, especially an interview with the city auditor, because you "required him to be by your side."

On one fateful day, he stumbled on my doorstep, his appearance resembling that of a walking corpse. Concerned, I ushered him inside and settled him on the couch, eager to understand what had befallen him. It turned out he had been battling a severe case of the flu, enduring a dangerously high fever. Astonishingly, during those very days when he needed you the most, you were off from your night shift at the hospital.

Over the next few days, you never offered him a proper meal; instead, you handed him peanut butter sandwiches, all the while busy with your own daily routine. You never missed a chance to grumble about his alleged dramatics and his failure to meet your demands.

Among your routines was to keep him up at night, for which your reason was "spending time together."

Little did you know, your incessant nagging drove him to overdose on NyQuil, desperately seeking respite from your constant harping. And so, he found himself on my doorstep, famished and unable to procure sustenance from your barren kitchen, as you had devoured all the provisions and left him stranded without the means to drive to the store.

It was I and Bob who nourished him during the remaining days of his illness, yet you shamelessly showed no sign of concern. It pains me to say this, but you may very well be the epitome of the worst nurse one could encounter.

I was informed by one of my female friends that you actually slapped him right across the face and publicly scolded him for accidentally spilling wine on her carpet. She witnessed you forcefully pulling him away if he sat next to any other lady during Rachel’s dinner. Furthermore, she saw you even pinching him when he dared to glance at anybody; she didn’t like it.

On another occasion, I was informed that while you were drunk, you ridiculed my spouse and me. As you relaxed in a cozy setting, relishing a delicious meal crafted by a dear friend, you had the nerve to belittle your partner's looks and disrespect my loved ones.

Why? It's hard to understand the reasons behind your actions. Perhaps it was rooted in jealousy. But what were you jealous of? Was it the fact that I shared a fleeting kiss with your husband all those years ago when he dropped me off at the airport? We were just friends, mere kids at the time. Yet, you chose to talk negatively about me behind my back, and I couldn't let it slide. I confronted you about it, and to my surprise, you admitted your insecurities and apologized. I forgave you, hoping that our friendship could mend.

Then, one fateful morning, I received a text that sent chills down my spine. It sounded like a desperate cry for help, almost like a suicide note. And it was from your husband! You were still at the hospital, and my husband urged me to rush to your house to check on him. I let myself in, only to find him lying unconscious on your bed, covered in blood. Thankfully, he was physically alright, but the emotional scars were evident. He pleaded with me to keep this incident a secret, and I couldn't turn my back on him. I helped him bandage his wounds, both physical and emotional, hoping that he would find solace in time.

The suicide attempt happened again, with the third instance nearly causing him to lose consciousness in the garage. Unfortunately, he continues to experience symptoms associated with formaldehyde poisoning. Following that incident, I reached out to his family, who promptly took him home. However, before his father arrived at your home address, you managed to find the time to publicly berate your husband, subjecting him to humiliation for his depression. You made an enormous scene, ensuring that everyone was aware of your husband's supposed mental instability and dangerous nature.

Despite all this, he endured it silently. He is a compassionate and gentle man who did everything in his power to shield you. He chose not to disclose the ways in which you manipulated and controlled him to his father, but my husband and I were well aware of the truth. You even went as far as visiting my workplace and attempting to have me fired by spreading the false rumor that I was involved in an affair with your husband. You falsely claimed that you kicked him out due to our alleged affair. Furthermore, you spread lies about my husband physically abusing me, insinuating that I am too terrified to leave him. These claims are nothing but fabrications from the depths of falsehood.

It's incredible how things have changed. Now that he has finally found his voice and decided to move on by filing for divorce, it seems to have ignited a fire within you. Your lies have spread like wildfire, tarnishing my reputation as a filthy home wrecker and labeling him as a despicable cheater with a sex addiction. You've managed to play the victim card so well that even the people at the university and church believe your twisted version of events. Your mother has gone to great lengths to sabotage our reputations, and it's clear that you've inherited her manipulative ways. It's a shame for your poor dad. You, my dear, are nothing short of a crazy bitch.

I vividly remember standing over your husband, both of us sobbing, as I helped him clean up the aftermath of your verbal abuse. It's a mystery why bad things happen to good people, but one thing is for sure: men can also be victims of spousal abuse, and that doesn't make them weak. If being labeled a home wrecker is the price I have to pay for standing up against injustice, then I will gladly tear apart ten more marriages. I will wear my scarlet letter with pride, knowing that I have fought for what is right.

Despite everything, I hold no grudge against you; my affection for you, my dearest friend, remains unchanged. However, I am unwilling to conform to your wishes by becoming a bitter old woman.

Notwithstanding: I am curious about your future plans once your supporters, those who blindly follow your lead, finally see the truth. How will you cope with the consequences? It will be devastating, especially considering the substantial grant you recently received from the university to cover your supposed medical expenses for breast cancer treatment. Breast cancer can be fatal, lying you suffer from it is worse. Yes, I am aware. You cannot deceive me or fabricate a false defense. Just remember, once the board becomes aware of this, you will lose everything. I wish you a fulfilling life ahead.

Your Old Friend

May

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

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